Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Some thoughts

I was hoping that the baking frenzy would subside once I wasn't pregnant anymore.  Unfortunately for my waistline, that really isn't the case.  Immediately following Elinor's birth, I was itching to get back into the kitchen and make something.  At least I gave it three days before hitting the Kitchenaid.  In case you're wondering, pumpkin yeast bread is delicious.  So are pumpkin cinnamon rolls.  And Rolo cookies, though I don't recommend making those unless you want to gain weight.
Speaking of weight gain, Elinor's 2-week check-up showed that she had gained about 2 pounds since birth, which is sort of amazing considering most newborns tend to lose weight during the first week (the general expectation is for the baby to be back up to birth weight by 2 weeks of age).  We might just manage to have a chubby baby this time around!
 I tried not to get my hopes up too high when Elinor slept through the night her first two days of life.  After all, we couldn't possibly make babies that are good sleepers!  Alas, we still don't. She's not big on falling - or staying - asleep on her own, preferring people's arms as her bed. I always forget just how miserably sleep deprived I am those first few months.  It must happen that way on purpose, because I can't imagine the human race surviving if moms remembered just how hard those first months are.

They say the first three months of a baby's life are more like a fourth trimester.  The baby doesn't start acting and looking like a proper baby until after that, and we as the parents are basically just in survival mode until then.  I find this to be very true.  So here I am, surviving.  Everyone says they don't do well on little sleep, but I tend to think they don't mean it as much as I do.  Not only am I a zombie when excessively tired, but I become a monster to the rest of my family.  I get depressed and full of rage all at once.  I take to cursing, mostly mentally but sometimes verbally, and genuinely hate everything and everyone.  It's not a pretty sight (unlike these feet - can you believe the stretch on those toes?!).

I'm not sure why I'm writing this.  Maybe to rid anyone of any preconceived notions they may have that I am some sort of Super Mom who cooks and bakes with a newborn (or while super pregnant and caring for an invalid husband) and poops sunshine and daisies.  That's my way of coping with the stress, my escape (the cooking, not that pooping of sunshine and daisies.  I wish I had that talent!).  Clearly, there's been a lot of stress lately.  But, at least there's always good food in the house!  And don't worry - I'm not on a ledge or anything.  I just look forward to the near future when the baby and I can finally wake up and start finding our new normal.

Besides, this is all worth it.

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